Irwin Corey

"Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers."

Alan King

"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."

Michel de Montaigne

"Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued."

Robert Graves

"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."

Ambrose Bierce

"Marriage: A word which should be pronounced mirage."

Herbert Spencer

"Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it."

Josh Billings

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier."

H. L. Mencken

"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Rita Rudner

"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse."

Doug Larson

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

Socrates

"Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you."

Jean Rostand

"Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake."

Elbert Hubbard

"Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night."

Paul Hornung

"No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married."

Benjamin Disraeli

"No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single."

H. L. Mencken

"Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid."

Harlan Miller

"On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable."

Emma Goldman

"One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again."

Judith Viorst

"Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman."

Joseph Joubert

"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does."

Groucho Marx

"Someone asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage."

Gloria Steinem

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."

Katharine Hepburn

"Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him."

H. L. Mencken

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."

Brendan Behan