Lord Byron

"I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it."

Lyndon B. Johnson

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Rita Rudner

"I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year."

Bette Davis

"I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out."

Lee Grant

"If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself."

H. L. Mencken

"If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping."

Mignon McLaughlin

"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books."

Alan King

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."

Katharine Hepburn

"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage."

Robert Anderson

"In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued."

Helen Rowland

"It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being."

Benjamin Disraeli

"It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others."

Helen Rowland

"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."

Robert Frost

"Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar."

Countess of Blessington

"Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."

Ambrose Bierce

"Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl."

Stephen B. Leacock

"Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose."

Beverley Nichols

"Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder."

Thornton Wilder

"Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner."

Charles Caleb Colton

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."

Mae West

"Marriage is a mistake every man should make."

George Jessel

"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."

Billy Connolly

"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open."

George Bernard Shaw

"Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night."

St. Jerome